It's hard for me to do this. Those web devs I was talking about earlier? I gravitated towards them because I saw something there: An artistic community at the bleeding edge, only accessible through a baroque, convoluted process that keeps the stupid people out. Their way of life was refreshing: ferociously intelligent and completely unsentimental. They didn't take anything seriously, especially not themselves or their personal wellbeing. We've all got something wrong with us, was the unspoken assumption, and instead of talking about it we'll tear into anybody who is talking about it. The worst thing you can be is honest. I think that's why they hated Inside so much: Bo Burnham wasn't chopping up old thai news footage or using the 2008 stock market crash as a metaphor to examine himself, he was just saying how he was feeling.

Living like that, the way they do, the way I'm trying not to anymore, it does something to you. Hardens your mind, calcifies it. Once, one of us broke character and told us he planning on ending it all. We did our best to help him, at least I did, but it's hard to transition from saying (jokingly) (or not) you want to blow your brains out with a Walther to earnestly telling a 20 year old in Maryland that he should really give this whole life thing a chance.

One thing I should make clear: He didn't kill himself and I don't think I will either. next